1) riothouse must behave.
2) mprice must refrain from being an Ugly America. (Any more than she already is.)
3) Strippers optional--COMPULSORY--optional--COMPULSORY! *sigh* PERVERTS!
4) Orgy participation optional--COMPULSORY! (riothouse, you are supposed to be behaving!) PERVERTS!
5) Bring earplugs in case riothouse gets the full German experience. (Alternatively, perverts may bring a glass to listen against the wall.)
6) Smelling salts for esda.
7) Disguises essential (a.k.a. Cosplay) in case the Major gets wind of our presence in Bonn.
8) Drinkers especially welcome - riothouse needs SOMEONE to get plastered with.
9) Wishing Dorian a happy 50th birthday a must. (Just don't tell him. He still says he's only 39.)
10) WHY IS EVERYBODY A TEATOTAL IN THIS FUCKING FANDOM!?!?!? - riothouse
11) If British, No football songs dissing Germany. (Even if they're true.) If German, you can diss anyone you like.
12) Nothing ridiculing Germany. It pisses off the Major and he WILL have us deported.
13) Only coffee allowed is Nescafé. Tea is for foppish British perverts.
14) Make a show of enjoying certain German foods. (Now, I'm not really sure about this one...) Shut up and include it! (Or what, you'll send me to Alaska?)
15) Only rental cars allowed -- Mercedes, BMW, and at worst, Volkswagen. No Porsches. Only a self-centered narcissist would drive a car like that.
16) Only clean activities permitted. Sports, rambling, recreational yelling, etc. No nightclubs (raves) (especially gay clubs), drugs, or men. --Spoilsport!
17) Do not pervert the good German citizens. Pervert the not-so-good German citizens.
18 ) Do not - and the Major repeats - DO NOT turn up inebriated at the Schloss at ALL looking for somewhere to kip.
19) Dorian says - Do not invite the Major to any social events if you want them to be fun.
20) riothouse's translation of above - What Dorian actually MEANS is "do not invite the Major to any social events in case he's bisexual and you all are hot."
21) Autograph hunters caught loitering in front of NATO Intelligence will be shot on sight. The Major is NOT some degenerate rock star!!! *envisions screaming fan!girls outside*